Shame. Secrecy. Loneliness.

In this episode of SkinPick: In Their Own Words, Liz Atkin shares her lived experience of skin picking — including the parts that are often hidden or hard to talk about.

Register here: www.skinpick.com/webinar

Liz reflects on how art and drawing became a way to express what words couldn’t, and how creativity helped her stay connected to herself through difficult moments.

If you’ve ever struggled to explain what skin picking feels like, or felt alone in it, this conversation may resonate

We know schedules are tough, especially at the start of the year. That's why we record all of our events!

If you missed the last Q&A session with SkinPick therapist Laura Santner, then don't stress- we've got it right here for you: https://youtu.be/t0JLaEI9X6g

Some questions for this session include:
-What causes skin picking and why is this happening to me?
-Is skin picking a life-long struggle? Is it possible to ever stop?
-Are there any treatments that can help with scarring?
-What are common triggers? Why am I picking?
-Why being told "just stop picking" is not helpful
-Do you have examples of strategies?

If you have questions of your own, send them to us in the comments- others can also learn from it, or send us an email to support@skinpick.com

I'm on the session of competing responses. I'm still deciding which ones I want to give a try. Any thoughts or recommendations on which one's worked well for you before I give it a shot.

Thank you all for reading and considering responding.

This could just be a post for the SkinPick team but if anyone else wants to jump in: go ahead! :)
I'm a 42 y/o female with BFRB for as long as I remember and I just joined this program: as sort of a refresher course, since my previous coping strategies weren't sufficient anymore.
I also again learned that his behavoir can be hereditary and unfortunately I also see it in my kids, even though I really try to not give them the wrong example.
Our 4 y/o has been biting nails since forever and my 7 y/o is a skin picker.
I think I alread recognize their triggers (boredom / need for physical stimulation, release of building tenstion, stress, perfectionism) but I really want to give them the best tools at this age already, so they have the best foundation to deal with this: now and in the future. Any suggestions / reading materials / kind of child therapists I should already engage?
Thanks!

We’re hosting a live Skin Picking Q&A and wanted to make sure our community knows about it.

This is a space to ask questions about skin picking — whether they’re practical, emotional, or something you’ve been carrying quietly for a while. You’re welcome to submit questions in advance (include them here, or send an email to support@skinpick.com) or ask them live during the session.

Whether you’re seeking support or trying to better understand what you’re experiencing, this Q&A is about clarity, compassion, and shared understanding — not judgement or pressure.

🗓️9 January
⏰ 12pm EST
Host: SkinPick Therapist, Laura Santner, LCSW & PTR
🔗 Register (free): www.skinpick.com/webinar

I wonder where I learned this, to put myself down so harshly. Was it a single moment in time, or was it a habit built in layers? Was it observed in my family of origin? Which parent do I blame? 😅 Which unresolved ancestral habit am I manifesting and I'm now responsible for?

Although I am somewhat curious, I know the origin doesn't really matter, and it's a distraction if I'm being honest. All that matters is that I am faced with it now and I see it clearer than ever before.

I suppose I wouldn't be so aware of it if I didn't have small children. Through their eyes, I can see more clearly. And maybe that's part of the problem, that I never thought that the way that I talked to myself mattered, that I can only now see when there are other people involved, other people for whom I care deeply and do not wish to cause harm. Why didn't I ever see myself in the same light? Someone who was not deserving of such criticism. Ouch. Another thing to criticize myself for? There it is again! I see you! 😆

So here I am reflecting on this big hole in my emotional health, something I really really super missed in my development. Something that always truly deserved my full attention but only now seems painful enough to notice.

I know this is important work. It feels really hard. I can see the humor in it too. And that is helping.

Thank you for reading.

I last visited the community a few weeks ago and it seems like a definite uptick in engagement, which is great! It feels like the support groups for my timezone are not that frequent, so having another active touchpoint with fellow community members is useful and motivating.

Perhaps therapists and support group leaders, or even email drops, can help publicise the community in a non-intrusive manner to ensure the feed keeps its activity up. I can imagine that some members might miss the Community tab altogether in the first few weeks, and for some it might be a vital tool.

I'm at the part of my journey where I'm learning to use competing responses when I have the urge to pick. It's been really frustrating to deny myself from picking and I thought clasping my hands together would be a good strategy, but dang, it's a struggle. I wanted to try using a worry stone, and so I made my own with a special SkinPick reminder! I like that no one else will know what it means, except for those in this community 🫶🏻 (I also wanted to share this photo because this is the best my thumb has looked in aaaages and I'm proud of the win I have right now!)

If anyone covers their flaws in makeup, this may be controversial.

I like how it looks but the problem is that when spots build pus underneath, I get really tempted to pick them 😭😭😭

Does anyone else feel the same way? If you don't pick, how do you manage with and without makeup?

I just find it so annoying when there's a blind pimple and it feels like forever for it to surface! It leaves something that looks like a bruise and I'm trying to ignore it but it hurts to press it. Arrrgh!!

So I have been struggling with picking at my face for a few years but this past semester in school (I'm in college) it's gotten way worse to the point where I have scabs all over my face the size of a dime (which as far as scabs go are HUGE) and I just came home for winter break and picked again for the first time in days and my face was almost perfect and now it is red and swollen and will have scabs EVERYWHERE and I am absolutely furious with myself because I wanted to look good while I was home and meeting up with my old friends. I already didn't want to go anywhere but NOW I DO NOT want to leave the house where anybody can see me and I am fed up with this and so so so dissappointed in myself and seriously don't know what to do. I'm trying to log but I will take absolutely any tips because my mom tries to help me not pick but she goes to bed before I do and I always pick before bed.

I picked the middle finger on my right hand today, which is a big problem area for me. I didn’t have my gloves with me and I felt desperate and out-of-control during a meeting. It’s sad because I had made such progress over the last few days. Now I feel the pain in my finger from the rough skin now exposed. I’m grateful to have feeling in my fingers, this was not always the case, so that itself is important. A really big gift, honestly. I’m starting to reopen the sensations I have in my fingers. There are parts of me I have neglected. Leaning into the possibility that all parts of me are important and worthy of protection and attention.

Hey everyone!

Found out most of my makeup products contain pore cloggers, which is definitely causing some rifts in my progress. Does anyone have any good recs for different base products? I'm looking for a good mid-high coverage skin serum, an SPF, a high coverage concealer, and a blush. Let me know!!!

(Marked as potentially triggering for containing negatative self-talk)

I just watched Maya Schonbach's webinar titled "Why Shame Keeps Us Stuck and What Helps Us Heal" (11/04/2025) and I highly recommend it! I feel like I just learned more about myself and my skin picking in an hour than I have in personal therapy sessions.

One of my biggest personal takeaways was how my shame really does feed into the cycle of skin picking. I remember once finding the courage to tell a friend about my struggles with skin picking, and he replied that he had never noticed any sores, scabs, or scars on me and would have never known. Of course, this was by design, right? I purposefully picked at locations on my body that the public would never see. I carried that shame close to my chest, and in turn, my shame fed on my secrecy. "If anyone saw this, they'd know how gross you are," my shame would say. My mind would respond "but if you pick here, no one will ever know," and thus, the cycle countinues! Sometimes I would feel shame for acknowledging I have a skin picking problem. "Other people certainly have it worse; why should I get help?"

This webinar opened my eyes to how unfair that is to myself. I do deserve self-compassion! We all do!! I'm super glad to have found this community <3

Hi everyone, I joined this program about a month ago. At first, the logging really helped me with self awareness and I noticed a decrease in my picking. But, I have a tendency to not maintain habits after a while. I have been busy with school and rarely ever log, because I just want to avoid it.

My picking has flared up again, and even though I have set 2 daily alarms to remind myself to log, I always am in the middle of something and end up snoozing them.

I have also struggled to log because a lot of the time I am not even experiencing a negative emotion, its such a persistant habit that I often times can't even identify a trigger.

I am hoping once the semester ends that I will have more time and energy to put in enough effort. Does anyone have advice to how I can stay engaged? I really want to improve but I have a hard time sticking to things.

One thing that I have been occasionally doing that helps is sitting on my hand while driving or in any situation where I am alone and can do so without looking crazy haha. But I have struggled to find other ways to distract myself, fidgeting doesn't give me the same satisfaction.

I also don't want to replace it with other methods of stimulation, I want to eliminate that craving entirely and be able to sit still and relax througout my days.

I have been picking since early childhood, so I have been finding it extremely difficult to make progress. I also am not doing everything that I could be, though, due to stress and distraction.

I really want to improve, because I am tired of having sore fingers, growing wounds on my face, picking around other people, feeling the lack of self-control, etc.

I also get so determined to smooth out my skin that I get stuck in a trance and cannot stop picking or get myself to let it go, and I genuinely feel like I am being held hostage by my own mind taking over.

If anyone has experienced similar struggles and have found ways to reduce them, i would love to hear about it :)

Hey everyone!

I wanted to say how grateful and relieved I am for this platform. I've been seeking resources for my BFRB for YEARS. I'm genuinely so happy to have found this community and to know I'm not alone in this- it's been maybe a decade since I started experiencing my dermatillomania and I've never been able to speak to anyone who had been knowledgeable/willing to open up. How amazing and liberating it is to know that I'm not alone!!!

Just found out about these yesterday. Starface hydro-star recovery patches. Excited to try em out when needed, a bit of self kindness <3

I have been picking for a long time. It started with my nails, then moved to the skin around my nails. I would cause myself to bleed and in the mornings my fingers would be so sore. But I still continued anyway. Because there is always one area or piece of skin that feels rough or sticks out and it has to be fixed.

I figured out that if I wore fake nails, gel nails, or anything that made my nails thicker; I was able to prevent the picking to a degree because the thick nails were harder to grab skin. But then I started obsessing with my nails being done, the cuticles around my nails and if the nails weren't perfect I would peel the gel, acrylic or paint off and damage my nails.

In the last several years, I have continued this habit and recently became more obsessed with picking blemishes on my face. This is what really has led me to here. I am so self conscious of my face now. It's embarrassing. Makeup doesn't cover it well and I don't like going out in public. I have also begun moving to the backs of my arms and thighs. So it seems this habit is just worsening over time and I have noticed scarring starting to occur.

Stress and tension often rise right before a picking episode. PMR can help interrupt that cycle.

Join us for a free webinar where you’ll learn:
✔️ What PMR is
✔️ Why it helps
✔️ How to use it daily to reduce urges

📅 19 November, 12pm EST
🔗 Register free: www.skinpick.com/webinar

One of our members shared a new mirror painting this week — and we’re so grateful she allowed us to share it again. 💛

These weekly drawings are part of her stimulus-control strategy, helping her stay grounded and offering a gentle reminder to moisturize instead of pick. Such a creative and meaningful way to support herself.

If you have your own small strategies or reminders that help, we’d love to hear them. Your idea might support someone else too. 🤗